The other day you called

It’s late evening
and the line is not very good
I can hear you are forcing
an unnecessary calm in your voice
you are probably in your T-shirt
faded and infused with grime
from the hours spent over the stove
at the dhaba where you cook
your eyes are probably wet
from the fire sticks you say
‘this is what a fourteen hour shift
does to my eye makeup’
the joke falls through
I am torn between anger and helplessness
‘you need to take better care’
I lash out in resentment
you fall silent and I say goodbye
You say goodnight
You don’t say ‘I love you’
you think it might annoy meWe hang up
I want to cry.

By Shaleen Rakesh

Shaleen works as an activist on gay rights in New Delhi, India. When he is (also when he is not) traveling down fabulous Indian village roads, he takes pictures and writes poetry. The Bling Diary is a queer poetry column updated whenever its time to run down the street with sparklers.